AGAIN with the weird dreams....

Had the baby dream again.

When I get immersed in a creative project, I often dream that I'm pregnant. If I miscarry, it's a bad sign--clearly. It means I'm fucking up, somewhere. Last night, I dreamed I was about to give birth to a baby I conceived in January. As per usual, I couldn't remember who the father was. My labor wasn't progressing. In fact, I wasn't even showing. I spent the hours waiting to deliver the baby by telling different dudes that each were indeed, the father. That seemed to excite them. They weren't guys I know in waking life.

H was there and told me I would need to do more stretches in order to give the baby room to make its way into the world. Basically, there needed to be more room inside of me.

My friend Jen says I have no subconscious. She's right. Clearly, I haven't been making enough room for whatever conceived project I have to come to fruition. Now the question is...what did I "conceive" in January that should be making its worldly appearance, now? I'm still thinking on that. The only other way to connect the January thing is it was the last time (gulp) I got laid.

I'm making an effort to not do so much. Saying no to things is difficult--one of our Group members has a terrible time with that. As a Priestess, I notice that my members' issues tend to emulate those of my own. Is it because they're my issues that I notice them? Do they pick up issues from me? Are they sent to the Group in order for us to see our issues in one another? Dunno.

Anyway.

I read Tarot for a very sweet client whom I had not seen in awhile. I think she was happy, even though due to bus and class schedules, I could not give her her full half an hour. I like reading for nice people, even on cold nights when I have to take the bus.

A Spell

Hi Guys!

While waiting for the window guy to come and see what can be done to fix my living room window (I've had to use a cat-scratcher to hold it open since the day I moved in...) I'll tell you all about the protection spell I did last night.

It's not good practice to talk about the spell you're working on until it's been completed. In fact, I strongly encourage everyone to keep their spell working to themselves, unless they'd like to tell their teacher about it. I have a lot of great teachers. They hear all about my stuff, all the time.

This weekend, I went to see my adviser, Lilith. My concern: several of my Group members had come to me saying they had dreams people were casting nasty spells at me, slandering me, or doing otherwise douchey things in my general direction. Now, my regular life is feeling pretty good. If these things are indeed going on, I'm not really feeling it--yet. But I decided it would be best to have Lilith check in on it, anyway.

The cards said there was some negative hoo-ha going on: a little verbal bitching, nothing to be too concerned about--but it was a gentle warning from the Universe. Now that I'm in the role of High Priestess, I need to keep my spiritual life in tight ship all the time in order to still be the best leadership and support I could be for my crew. Time to go tidy up.

Friday night, I dreamed of a moonstone ring to wear on my index finger. At the Pagan Pride Day, I found exactly the one I was looking for at Don Cross's stand. Silver triple-moon design with a secret pentacle at the stone's support. Moonstone has been known for its protective powers and its one of my favorite stones--being a Cancer and a Moon Child and a Moon worshiper and all. The index finger of the dominate hand points the way to your endeavors. The ring on this finger would be the protection for that.

I sat at my altar last night and consecrated the ring with the Elementals: Dipped it in the incense smoke for Air, whisked it through the candle flame (carefully and quickly, as the flame could crack the stone), dipped it in the altar waters which had been perfumed with essential lavender and basil, and then dipped it in the bowl of earth--which is compiled of earth from Ireland, Manhattan and South Carolina--where my ancestors come from, where I live and where I was born. (It's best to have graveyard soil from your ancestral plots--but that's all I got at the moment.) Then, I dipped the ring, again carefully, in the flames of Brid and Pan. I read an incantation to Brid that I got from a book called, "Brighid's Healing."

Bhride! Solas geal!
Gabh isteach!
Gabh isteach!
Caed mile failte!

Brighid! Bright light!
Come in!
Come in!
One hundred thousand welcomes!

Today is the day of Bride
The serpent shall come from the mound
I will not molest the serpent
Nor will the serpent molest me

Hail until thee, Jewel of the Night!
Beauty of the Heavens, Jewel of the Night!
Mother of the Stars, Jewel of the Night!
Foster Mother of the Sun, Jewel of the Night!
Majesty of the Stars, Jewel of the Night!

I asked Brid to bless the ring with protection, and did the same for the pentacle I wear on my neck, every day. It looks different, now. Can't really say how so. Should have done the same for my other ring.

Then, I made an offering of beer and cheap wine--cheap wine for the ancestors. These things make Them happy.

Musings on the completion of the Wheel

Yes, we're still weeks away from Samhain, but already I'm feeling the end of this year's Wheel. I know what my next project is going to be. I have a book to write. Tonight, while attempting to put pound out a short story, all I wanted to do was jot down a chapter summary of the things I learned over the past year and how it can all be pounded out into a book. It's coming. That's the project for next year--besides getting into Seminary full time--is making sense out of all the shit that happened in 2008-2009 and how to process it into something that might help others. Journeys, journeys, journeys....

Meanwhile, Jorge and I are taking a week off from shooting the Tarot deck. It's amazing we survived last week's nonsense. We're collaborating on Saturday to prepare for the UK Tarot Conference (!!!)

Hmmmm....what else to say.

CRR and I talked last night about the process of writing. Writing for two hours every day, and reading for one of those hours, too. I would like to get an hour's worth of reading in tonight, but I also need to make some phone calls and clean out the refrigerator. Plus, do some kind of protection spell for my house and home. Maybe I can combine that with my reading. Reading some of my spell books. I have some good ones. When I find something good, I'll let you guys know.

CRR, are you reading this and chuckling? Stop. I feel it in NYC. (Just kidding. But not really.)

I'm playing Witchy Carrie Bradshaw because I've got to fill up twenty more minutes of writing. I'm almost there, right? Have I found enough to say? No. Did I draw any conclusions? Hell no. Do I ever? Meh. Of course not. What philosopher does? Which brings up the question....am I a philosopher? What defines a philosopher? Who the fuck cares who is a philosopher? Would a good philosopher use the word, "fuck"?

CRR, this is all your fault. You suggested I write for two hours a night and now I can't stop.

Don't worry. Only a few thousand people read this daily, anyway. And by a few thousand, I mean a few hundred. And by that, I mean a few dozen. And by that I mean, probably just you. And by that I mean, Kwanzaa, a joke in which only my sister will get this--and she only reads this blog when I tell her to.

Fifteen minutes short of the two hour time limit. Does writing an email count?

Signing off.

Baking a pumpkin spice cake.

Don't you wish you were here???

Yesterday, I didn't end up teaching "Ethical Spellcraft." My class took a vote and people wanted to learn about Tarot. So, I taught people Tarot stuff. I think they learned things. They certainly laughed a lot. So even if they didn't learn anything, they certainly had fun.

Got my reading from Lilith yesterday. Gotta do some witchy clean-up work, securing the space. Honestly, I have to do that PHYSICALLY around the house as well, cleaning out stuff, fixing things, etc. The spiritual and the physical often go hand in hand.

On that note, I need to go do dishes.

xxo
C

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.

Woke at 5:00 a.m. this morning with an ancestor message for a friend of mine. Now that the dead have discovered our ability to text message, they don't let us go back to sleep until they see us press "Send."

Here's what was said: "In your search for the like-minded, embrace the differences, too. That's how we learn from one another."

It's just as likely to be a message meant for me as well.

Today is the PRIDE AT BATTERY PARK!!!!

Coming out of the Retrograde funk.....

I hope people are still speaking to me after this week. I'm normally very sweet and loving, but was pretty rancid for part of this week. Jorge was gracious. I was a hen-pecking BITCH last night at our King and Queen of Swords shoot--which is probably not a huge surprise. As I was telling a friend, shoots emulate the cards. While our models were great, the lighting was a pain in the ass.

The ride home was long. Our shoot was out in a deep pocket of Brooklyn and didn't finish until almost midnight. Because trains are slow that time of night, I didn't get home until after one. I believe I was cursing my blessings. Having a fabulous project to do and people who are working on it with me. Having finished a shoot I'd been worried about since beginning this Tarot deck journey nearly two years ago. Having a JOB in this bad economy for which I'd have to get up early for. For living in New York, the place I'd dreamed of living since I was a kid--even if it broke my wallet again this month and means that traveling five miles after midnight is a sojourn more aptly titled "Pilgrimage to Apartment."

But last night I dreamed of Marilyn. I don't remember what she said, but I believe she will stay in my dreams as a reminder to count, not curse, my friggin' blessings--even when they masquerade as inconveniences, annoyances, and severe tests of my goddamned patience.

Tomorrow is Pagan Pride Day here in NYC!!! I am so excited!!!

PANties....

It's appropriate to honor the God with due gifts.



(It's a little hard to see--but that's a flaming red lace thong on His ear)

I like how people are blaming Jorge.

;)