Festivals this summer! Come hang with me!!!

We're still in the midst of Beltaine planning (Our crew's celebration is tomorrow!!!) and I'm trying to keep my head down and focused on my finals...but I can already hear drums and smell bonfires.

Here are a few places where I'll be teaching this summer! Please come and hang with me!!!

Brushwood Summerfest--Craftwise College!
July 18-24
In gorgeous upstate New York. I'll be teaching my (in)famous Tarot classes: "Voice of the Tarot" and "Burn the Fucking Book." I'll also be leading my "Ethics of Spellcraft" workshop at Craftwise. I'm soooooo stoked....because my friends and mentors Janet Farrar and Gavin Bone will also be leading their incredible workshops...and my dear friend and sister in Brid Bernadette Montana of Brid's Closet will be teaching at the festival, too!(Both Summerfest and Craftwise are at Brushwood the week of July 18th!)

Laurelin Sun, Moon and Sky Magick Lughnasadh Celebration
Bethel, Vermont
August 3-7
At my good friend Kirk White's gorgeous farm in northern Vermont. They EVEN HAVE A PAN GROVE AND A NATURAL SPRING!!! It's even more exciting for me as two of my Students/Covenmates are also teaching: Lisa Vazquez and Noelle V Dor. HPS BEAMING SUNSHINEY-RAINBOW-SPARKLY UNICORNS OF PRIDE!!!!

And then....at the end of August....returning to my hometown of Portland, OR to show them all the cool things I learned while in the far East!

DeForest House
Portland, OR.
Thursday, August 18, 7-9:30
These kind souls endured my renditions of Lady Gaga and AC/DC at their New Year's Eve drum circle...now, they're kind enough to let me teach "Burn the Fucking Book!" and show off Tarot of the Boroughs!

***Vancouver, WA date in the works...will have more information soon!!!***

Sacred Mists Store
Napa, CA (The live, in-person store!)
August 24 and 25
Wonderful opportunity. :) I will be the first presenter this little gem of a store has had, in person! Many of you are familiar with Sacred Mists's Online College--but just this past August, they opened their doors as a store with doors and a roof and stuff inside! I will be teaching "Voice of the Tarot" and an introductory Wiccan Ritual workshop. I'll also be doing readings! Thank you, Lorien, for giving me this fantastic opportunity!

BAY AREA TAROT SYMPOSIUM!!!
San Francisco!!! California!!!
August 27-28
The last time I went to San Fran, I was with a Catholic School choir tour led by a bunch of nuns. I totally had a good time. We went to Six Flags and everything. But I think I'm going to have just as much fun as a 30 year old (yipes!)Witch and Tarot freak running around with a bunch of other Witches and Tarot freaks. I'll be presenting a talk on Tarot of the Boroughs. Maybe I'll even do Power Point! Yay!!!

If you are on the Left Coast and interested in coming to hang with me at any of these events, please register at the above links or email the stores if registration is not yet available. As registration does become available, I will update this blog. I never miss a chance to self promote--if you haven't noticed.

YAY!!! IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK!!! GOING HOME TO BE GOOD AND WORK ON A PAPER SO I CAN HAVE ALL THE FUN IN THE WORLD TOMORROW AT BELTAINE!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Sorrow, forgiveness and healing--plus Tarot.

Well, FIRST Tarot.

I'm still coming back to Earth after a world-turning weekend at the Reader's Studio. A swift lesson that I've been trying to avoid for months--even if you study Theology, even if you run a group, it is NOT a substitute for doing your own self-work. So now, armed with more things to reflect upon and investigate, I wade through the Beltaine tides (which have led to some very embarrassing Freudian "slips" at work...) and embrace the brightest part of the year in hopes that it will shine its light on the places in my soul that need illumination.

The Death of Bin Laden
This epic conclusion to the nearly mythic search for Bin Laden has shaken up painful memories for many from the tragic September day. The news broadcast cheering the streets of New York (I was asleep on my couch, processing my weekend), but much of it was mixed with tears. Facebook (stupid Facebook...) exploded with conspiracy theories, arguments as to whose victory it "really was," joy, anger, attempts at peace.

Revenge, for lack of a better term, is a complicated state. We fantasize about seeking revenge on those who have harmed us. Some of us may even receive the opportunity to reap what we consider revenge. But revenge is a shallow victory. It can feed the ego, but it leaves the soul in an extended feeling of hunger and want. During our trials of suffering at the hands of others, our souls are promised healing once revenge has been completed or "justice served." But when those moments come, the satisfaction is fleeting. Revenge does not undo the suffering we've undergone. It does not replace what was lost. Bin Laden's death may be providing closure for those who lost family and friends in 9/11--but it does not bring those lost back to life. Nor does it re-write the past ten years as glorious ones, filled with laughter and light instead of grief and pain. The soul is still left suffering after the revenge is complete, without the promise of an end in sight.

So what is the other option? Forgiveness? As a young Christian, I would grit my teeth and do my best to forgive the bullies that taunted me at school. Sometimes, I would succeed in doing so, only to be bullied again. I would "turn the other cheek" so friggin' often and simply allow the bullying to continue because in my young mind, it was the "good, Christian thing to do." Yet, there were also times both in my childhood and adult life, when someone who had done me wrong came forward with a heartfelt apology and I forgave them. And there have been individuals who harmed me in my past who never did apologize, and yet in hindsight I was able to forgive them. I am very thankful for those who have forgiven me when I've done stupid-ass things. The gift of forgiveness is peace in one's own soul. We no longer have to carry hot and self-poisonous grudges and perhaps we can even start anew in our own journeys with the people that either we've hurt or that have hurt us.

But the problem with forgiveness is the assumption that it's always necessary or always good. Can any of us really ask a woman who has been brutally raped to forgive her attackers? Or, back to the subject at hand, will it really serve anyone who suffered a loss in 9/11 any good to forgive Bin Laden for plotting the monstrous attacks? Would we be encouraging healing or the suppression of one's own pain? It is not fair to comfort one by saying it's part of their journey to experience that pain, or promise them that it will make them stronger. It minimizes and trivializes their experience.

When it seems impossible to forgive a person, group or situation who has harmed us, the only tool we can embrace is acceptance. We accept that a pain occurred. We also have to eventually accept that there may never be an answer to why something painful happened to us or those we love. Accepting does not mean condoning. Accepting also does not mean forgetting. But accepting that a pain happened may allow us to move forward and stop existing in the "Why did this happen? Why would this happen to me???" We accept that we will not know the answers, but we also accept the reality that our pain can be temporary, if we allow it to be.

My heart goes out to those who suffered directly or indirectly due to the attacks of 9/11. I am not excited about Bin Laden's death, as I do not believe his death will truly alleviate the suffering of the present. But nor do I mourn his death. Yes, he was a person--but he was a person who caused severe suffering and perhaps I am not compassionate enough to mourn the loss of a person who committed those acts. But what I do feel is hope that a benefit of this situation is the closure for those who suffered because of it, and hope that it moves forward the healing process. I hope those who lost are not pushing themselves to forgive Bin Laden, if they feel they cannot. But I do hope that all who suffered can reach a place of acceptance.

Peace, blessings and healing to all in this Light time of the year.

AWESOME WEEKEND COMING UP!!!!!

If you're in the NYC area this weekend, I will be at the Reader's Studio at the LaGuardia Marriott Hotel! (Sorry, bitches...it's sold out! Hope you have your tickets already!) Tarot of the Boroughs will be for sale!!! (That is not sold out...you can order online!!!)

Also, Jorge will be at Brid's Closet Beltaine up in Cornwall, NY. He'll also have TofB for sale!

And to shamelessly promote another friend, Tarot reader Hilary Parry will be making her Reader's Studio debut! Hilary has been featured on Theresa Reed's Tarot Apprentice competition and I sincerely expect Hilary to win the hell out of that competition.

If you're there, come say hi to me and Hilary! If you're at Brid's Closet Beltaine, go say hi to Jorge!!! He'll be teaching Archetypes in Astrology!!!!

LISTEN TO ME...AGAIN!!!!!

I'll be on Beyond Worlds Tarot blogshow tonight at 7 p.m., Eastern Time. We'll be discussing the Strength and the Hermit cards. Listen to me so I feel important!!!!

xoxo
C

LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna be on Beyond Worlds Tarot blogtalk show this Sunday at 7 p.m. U.S. Eastern Time. The topic of the show is The Chariot and The Lovers. Things that are fast and things that are sexy--things in which I am an expert, as I so cornily said on the "Tarot of the Boroughs" FB page.

Link to the show is HERE.

Hope you can listen in!!!!

xoxo

PARTY ON THURSDAY!!!!

It's here! It's here! It's finally, finally here!!!!

Come out and party with us this Thursday to celebrate the birth of our Elephant Baby!!!!

Thursday, 8/26/10
8:00 p.m.-9:30 p.m.
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery Btw. Bleecker and Houston
F to 2nd Ave or 6 to Bleecker Street
$5
($4 Magic Hat on draft!!!)

Already a cult phenomenon, Tarot of the Boroughs is the sensational new Tarot deck set in New York City and composed of spectacular, original photography. Inspired by the classic Tarot, Tarot of the Boroughs captures the Tarot's timeless images in contemporary incarnations, replacing the esoteric with the familiar. Tarot of the Boroughs features New Yorkers from all walks of life as well as well-known ...faces including Moby, Jonathan Ames, Reverend Jen Miller, Lilith Dorsey, Velocity Chyaldd, Larkin Grimm, Reverend Billy and Imakhu Mwt Shekemet among many, many others! Join us for an evening of performances by several of our illustrious models, readings by dynamic Witches, raffle give-aways of the new deck, Q and A with the creators and more!!!

Performances by:
Imakhu Mwt Shekemet
Reverend Jen
Francis “Faceboy” Hall
Master Lee and Chink Floyd
And more!!!

****The deck will be there and available for purchase!***


Say you were there at the debut of a classic icon!!!

Tarot Decks Take Time.

Well THAT was the fucking UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!!!!

Word is currently: August 18th.

Mother. Of. Gods.

Tweet Tweet

I think I'm going to start a Twitter account and talk about Tarot.

If I do, will you read it?

The Wedding.

Last night, I went to the wedding but fortunately, did not have to go alone! ABL and NVD came with me, but they got there after I did. The first people I ran into were a cluster of my Tarot clients! I only recognized one, and then felt really dumb when the other two introduced themselves to me. They'd been in my house for readings and everything. I couldn't remember their names. I couldn't remember what I told them, either (I never do), but I did remember what they came to see me about. They gave me updates and also said, "You were SOOOO right." It made me feel good.

Also, as it turned out, the bride's bachelorette party was filled with clients of mine.

"All everyone said was, 'ohmigod...she was sooooooo accurate'!" one of my clients said.

"I should have jumped out of a cake," I replied.

Reading Tarot is fraught with insecurity. Was I wrong? Was I mean? Did I fuck up someone's life who should have never listened to me? Do I owe refunds to everyone who has ever hired me?

It's nice to get good feedback once in awhile.

Now, I want a Jewish wedding when/if I ever get married. The canopy was so pretty.

Live readings onstage

Last night, I read Tarot ***LIVE*** onstage. I've done Tarot readings in front of an audience before, but it's normally in a class. It was scary to do a reading at an open mic, where there are lots of rancid skeptics in the audience.

I got to read for Chemda, a woman I know from the Artstar scene, who is "The Girl" of Keith and the Girl, one of my favorite podcasts.

I think I did okay! She said I did okay, anyway. But maybe she was just being nice to me.

Honestly, what's more important than doing a public reading is doing something that scares you. Try it. Every day. Okay, I don't do it every day, but I do it when I've got the chance.

Tonight, I have to go to a wedding and probably have to go alone because Jorge double-booked himself. That's okay. I've never been to a wedding alone before. That's kind of scary.

Creating a Tarot Deck--Getting Started

I need to stop verbally wanking it and actually put something of substance in this blog--if I'm going to be all serious n' stuff. Until that day comes, you're going to have to hear about my road to Tarot Deck Creation....

Creative processes are frequently likened to birthing a child. Jorge and I call Tarot of the Boroughs our "Elephant Baby" being as it's been in creative utero for over two years. Almost three, in fact, if you count the span of time I spent kicking the idea around in my head.

I don't remember when I had the "Wouldn't it be great if I made a fucking Tarot deck?" thoughts began. Probably when I was doing a lot of readings for individuals and parties in New York--just before the crash came and my corporate party jobs vanished. People often like to know what specific cards mean and I would try to find contemporary correlations.

"See this guy?" I'd say, holding up the King of Coins. "This dude sitting on a throne surrounded by coins and fruit and stuff--that's your boss." I started seeing the Coin Court cards as CEOS and office workers, the Wands' Court as artists. Cup characters seemed pretty obvious--they were all of us falling in and out of love. I hadn't a clue where to start with the Swords.

I'm going to tell you one secret of the Creative Universe: It's not about you--it's about the project. Art is the vehicle for the Divine to speak through us, and It will shout out Its message to whoever can hear it. So if you have an idea for a book, a painting, an installation, a performance piece--whatever project is lurking around in your mind, I guarantee you that 700 other people out there are thinking up the same thing. The Gods will shout out what They want to see in the world, and will come by to help along anyone who is planning on getting it out there. I'd had this happen with several of my 10,000 failed attempts at writing novels and screenplays. If the Urban Tarot deck was in my consciousness, it was surely in the consciousness of others, too.

(Brace yourself for cliche....)

When I was in traveling in Ireland, where lots of good inspiration comes from (see? cliche....), I turned to a friend and asked if she felt like working on a Tarot deck with me. It seemed like it was a good time to go ahead and do it. She agreed! This was good. My friend was a very talented visual artist and I can't draw worth shit. But I had good ideas and I could run around taking pictures of the things I wanted drawn and could send them to her. She would draw the cards and I would find someone who would publish us. Hooray! We'd make a million dollars in no time.

When I returned to New York, I got started right away. Except for one problem: I didn't own a camera.

This was when I wrangled Jorge on board. We'd been friends in the Artstar scene of New York for awhile, and he'd attended a few rituals and meditations that my old Coven led. He was also interested in learning to read Tarot. Seeing as he had a camera and was quite photogenic, I asked if he'd be willing to lend me a point and shoot, and if he wanted to pose for me as "The Fool," which we later re-named, "The Seeker."

Jorge did not own a dinky point and shoot camera, but a super-nice camera with a strap and a big lens. Although he would have been nice enough to lend me the camera, I know my clumsy limits. Plus, he was curious about the project and offered to take all of the pictures.

Check out this G-Crack exchange! This is where it ALLLLLLL began, folks.....

4:09 PM George: hey. no I am actually non busy actually

me: Cool!
I was wondering two things....
one, if you had a digital camera I could borrow (not one of your really nice ones, something simple) and two, would you be willing to pose in a photo for me?
Clothed. I won't make you get nude with the weather this cold. :)

4:13 PM George: lol, Well I actually only have one camera. I could maybe take the pictures for you. Oh and sure I pose for you.

me: Cool!!!! I couldn't pay you, though....I'll buy you beer!

4:14 PM George: Sure I'll do it for some beer.

me: My friend and I are working on designing a tarot deck. She is drawing the cards from photos of real people. I would love for you to be The Fool (that's a good thing--not a bad thing.) The Fool is the first card in the tarot. He's young and optimistic and starting a journey. He's only called The Fool because he has yet to attain knowledge--not because he's foolish or a dumbass. You look young and have a natural optimism that shines through. I would love to photograph you in a train station with a large backpack--as though you were coming to NY for the first time.

4:18 PM George: alright, well that sounds like me, I still have a lot to learn. I have a plain black backpack about medium sized. Train station, maybe one of the above ground stations? Or were you thinking of a more Grand Central cross roads.

me: Grand Central, yes
Some photos of you in the center of the terminal, and some getting off a train.
To see which one works better.

4:20 PM George: alright thats sounds like a good idea. For the getting off the train perhaps above ground station, more light is what I am thinking. Oh and let me know about any other photos you need taken for the rest of the project. At the moment still waiting to see if I get rehired, not sure if the people in my department will still be there.

4:23 PM me: Wow..you are AWESOME...

4:24 PM There are 78 cards in total, but we're only concentrating on 4-5 at the moment. We already have photos for two, so we'll need to work on pulling a couple more before the New Year.

4:25 PM What are your plans for Sunday?

4:26 PM George: Sunday is open for me all day. Alright, sounds like you guys are working on a cool project.


There were many days when Jorge deeply regretted this decision.

A Tarot Reader Opens a Chase Business Banking Account

(HA!)

"Hi! I'm V. So, you want to open a business account with Chase? You're a sole-proprietor. Okay. What is your business called? Tarot of the....what? Tarot? You mean like Tarot cards? You're MAKING Tarot cards? Wow. That's uh....wow. Well, first time I've had that today! Ha! Since you're not incorporating, we will not need DBA forms. I will need your social security number, Ms. Weber. Just curious, do you READ Tarot cards? Really? How long have you been reading? 13 years??? Wow. That's uh...wow. Now, will you be requiring a Chase credit card? What about a debit card? What do you expect your average balance to be per month? How did you learn to read Tarot cards? Doesn't that require a gift? I mean, some people are SEERERS, you know? Like, they can see things? Read things? Don't you need to be able to do that in order to read Tarot? If you link your Chase credit card with your business banking, there will be no minimum fee. Without, you will need to pay a monthly fee of $25. There is a .25 interest rate for business savings accounts. Girl....I cannot BELIEVE you dropped in here at the end of the year...the things I could ask you right now.....mmmmmhmmm. I will need you to sign here and here and here and here. Wait, I'm going to need to call my manager. EDNA! Can I see you for a minute? This is Courtney, she's opening a business account. She reads Tarot. I know, right? Edna and I are allllll over this kinda stuff. We're going to have to have you come back and give us more information....*wink* if you know what I mean. I'm going to need to see two pieces of ID. So, a New York Tarot deck, huh? Will it work like a real Tarot deck? Like one you READ-read? Oh, and one more thing for you to sign. When you come back next week, we'll have the business books ready for you. You're going to make a lot of money on this thing. I can feel it. Thank you for doing business with Chase.

Cool! Video!!!

My friend Imakhu, creator of television show "ASHE!" has this new episode out! I got a piece on there teaching Tarot at Pagan Pride Day, and also a bit of me running my mouth for awhile. (Damn, my lipstick was bright that day...)

She also interviews Kirk White, Rev. Eli Camarena and Laura Wildman among others--the real reason to watch this video. :)

Yule Musings

I spent Saturday night reading Tarot at a party at the Russian Baths near Coney Island. It was a long subway ride through a furious blizzard, but there are far worse ways to make 90 bucks on a Saturday night. After a few hours of reading, I soaked in a hot tub, watching gorgeous bikini-clad peops rock out to live Balkan sounds, feeling all the more cozy knowing outside was the North Pole. After sufficient time in the hot tub, I retired to the sauna. There, I met a Russian guy named Paul. Paul asked if I'd like a Russian purification. I didn't know what that meant, but who was I to refuse an offer from a lovely Russkie dude two days before the Solstice?

You know what Paul did? He took me into the Cedar Steam room and proceeded to flog me with Oak Leaves...

It really was kind of too perfect.

After burning your toxins out in this gorgeous method, the person performing it on you puts you under a cold shower and even if you scream and try to run away (like I did), he'll make you stay in the freezing water because "You need it." Then, he wrapped me head to toes in white towels and ordered me to relax. (Only Russians make you fear the consequences of NOT relaxing enough.)

While I sat, wrapped in towels and listening to the brassy Balkan music, I thought to myself, "The Oak King rocks."

It took me awhile to get home. The subways are slow now anyway because of budget cuts. Late at night they're even slower. Add in the blizzard and I might as well have walked to Inwood. (Not really.) But there is a purpose for everything and this purpose was yet another gift of my pre-Yule evening.

When I got off the subway, it was nearly four in the morning. Normally, a sketchy time to be riding the trains alone, but not that night. New York City was completely silent. Not a car moved, not a person stumbled, staggered or cursed. The only sounds were the crunch of my boots in the snow. It was a pristine, blue-white covering turning cars into hills and dressing the apartment buildings like a storybook village street. I forgot about the cold, the fatigue, the fear of being out late and alone. I tramped through the snow, welcoming the presence of the Winter Queen. I wondered sadly, if my grandchildren would get to enjoy such a sight. Not knowing if they ever would, I took my time and took in the White Beauty. And this is how I welcomed Yule.

"You, Priestess, cannot be all things to all people"

A few weeks ago I went to Delaware to see my friends and to attend a workshop. At the Trance Prophecy Ritual that evening, a seasoned Priest brought through Odin. I've attended numerous Trance Prophecy Rituals and met a lot of different Gods, but this was the first time I approached a God and was crouched on the floor trembling like Dorothy before Oz. Except, there was no old dude behind the curtain. The old dude was the Old Dude right before my eyes and He had a mess of things to say to me. First of all, "You, Priestess, cannot be all things to all people."

(Funny. My therapist echoed the same sentiment this morning when I was ranting about some twig.)

So funny. Even though I know it's true, it doesn't stop me from trying to be perfect. All. The. Time.

Saturday, I lead the first open ritual at the new Pagan Center of New York. We had a spectacular time! The corners were called, the intention was set. The Holly and Oak Kings were chosen and duked it out. When the Oak King was the (surprise surprise) victor....He declared, "Gods bless Witches everywhere!" and we all went wild and the previously orderly ritual burst into an ecstatic Pagan dance party. It went on for hours. I received a lot of positive feedback. People had a great time and truly seemed to get something out of it. It was a blessed event and I hope we have more of them.

Sunday, I overdid it, I think. I read Tarot for four clients--one of whom purchased a full hour. The first three really liked their readings, even though they weren't all glowing news. The third even gave me a large tip. But the fourth person left me sad and dejected.

She said she was unhappy. I saw in her reading that she works too damn much. She said it was true. I pulled out a few things she could expect to experience in the coming weeks and months and a few other things she could do about her depression.

"Tell me about my personal life," she said. "Tell me what's going to happen."

I flipped some more cards and saw the same thing. Depression. Stagnation. Her job sucks. Find a new one or continue to be unhappy.

She looked cross. "Are all your readings like this?"

"Like what?" I asked.

She waved her hands over the cards. "Like this. You're repeating yourself. This isn't what I want to know. I want to know what things will happen."

"I'm afraid this is the message I have for you," I said.

"This isn't what I wanted," she said. "I want to know things. Not what I already know." She offered to pay me for fifteen minutes, but I waived it all together.

I saged the house after she left. I felt very sad. I had told her what would happen, so I thought. No, it wasn't the 7th Avenue psychic reading: "You will meet a tall man with a flowing mane...." although I do give those periodically. But that wasn't the message for her. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I took on too much psychically in one weekend. I should have thought about that before making that poor woman traipse way uptown to my house and then not give her a good reading. Then again, it wasn't that my reading was inaccurate. It just didn't cover what she wanted to hear. (Sigh.)

The woman came to my house looking for something that I was unable to provide. That's all. But even in the afterglow of having helped a lot of people, the last one I came into contact with left unsatisfied. That, unfortunately, is the one that sticks with me, even though I try to focus on all of the others.

I will reflect on the advice of Odin (and my therapist). I did what I could for the people I met over the weekend. One walked away dejected, but there is only so much responsibility I can take for it. As I told one young man at the PCNY Yule who asked about becoming a telephone psychic, when one is a minister, they must treat the practice like a pharmacist treats their own practice. The pharmacist can only put the correct pills and instructions on the counter for the patient. It's up to the patient to not only take them, but take them correctly. They can't shove the pills in their mouths nor follow them home to ensure they take them correctly. But as a minister, it's really hard to let that go.

Now, to add to the list of shit I've been called in the last week: Tyrannical, judgmental, oppressive, hypocritical. This was from someone outside my Coven, I may add. I wish this person had been a fly on the wall when I was scolded by a mentor a day later for being "too polite, democratic to a fault, too open, and needing to grab a tighter hold on the reigns."

See? Can't please them all.

Tune in next week for, "Still haven't learned that one...."

Bleck! Sorry I'm MIA.....

Writing new workshops and working on stuff for various Yule celebrations. I look forward to catching you all up on my manic thoughts...for those of you nice enough to pay attention to them!!!

Did want to direct you to the Pagan Center of New York's website

I'm teaching Tarot for Lovers at PCNY this Saturday from 2:00-4:00! $20 for everything you ever wanted to know about Love Readings. There will be a Yule ritual that evening. Shall be a good time!!!

Oh...The Lady's good to me...and so I thank the Lady!!!

Guess what, guys???

Last year, my Mom and I had a fight on Thanksgiving about me being Wiccan. It "made her sick to her stomach." Which made me sad. Obviously.

Anyway.

I was nervous coming home this year, thinking I'd be in for another fight. I wore my pentacles most of the weekend, except when my mother's new best friend "Dina" came over. I foolishly thought Dina, being Southern, would be freaked out by them and there was no sense in freaking out my mother's new friend at Thanksgiving.

To my delighted surprise, Dina asked me to give her a Tarot reading.

I did.

My mom even helped! She asked if there was anything special I needed or if it would be a problem if she were in the room when I did the reading. Dina loved her reading and said it was helpful. Mom got to see me read Tarot and see that it's not a "creepy, icky thing" I was doing, nor was it a "tongue in cheek, I don't really mean it, right?" thing. Plus, it gave her the chance to go call my grandmother and not feel her guest was being ignored.

Dina, as it turns out, is interested in alternative spirituality. She moved to Oregon to get away from the Bible Thumping she received as a child. My mommy's new BFF is a Goddess Worshiper. This, clearly, is a very good thing for me. AND for my relationship with my mother.

Short entry because I'm off to meet my friend Jenny for lunch. You can read her story here. She's inspiring. She doesn't like it when people say she's inspiring, but tough shit, kid. You inspire me.

Coming back to earth...

Hello loves,

Got back into town from the UK Tarot Conference yesterday. A truly wonderful time. Catching back up on all the work that can only pile up for having left town for four days--so will be more interesting later!!!

Gearing up to take flight

me: I slept through my alarm this morning.
Woke seven minutes after I'm supposed to leave.
Got to work only ten minutes late.

JG: you are a witch, you can bend time

Oh, if only that were true.

I have a friend who swears he can bend time. He says if he's late for work, he focuses on going back in time while he's zipping down the freeway. Sometimes, he says, he's able to get to work a full three minutes before he left the house.

I believe all things are possible. But I don't think it's possible for that friend.

Anyway, I was late this morning as I was out too late last night. I went to see Hope Sandoval in concert. Her voice is still clear and lovely as the xylophone she plays. But her band is lame. She got angry when the mics didn't amplify her enough, and left the stage for half an hour. It was fun to watch the nihilism melt from her crowd. I got home late, read cards for a friend who is going through a rough enough time to wait up until 1:00 to hear from me. I just wish all readings would end with, "No worries! It's all going to be fine!" But, they don't.

Jorge is meeting me here at noon so we can go make color prints of our cards to take to England for the UK Tarot Conference. It's starting to feel like we're actually going to have a deck that people are actually going to consult for answers on their love lives and careers. That excites me as much as it scares me. We're still searching for a publisher, but talking to the friend last night who accompanied me to the concert--we may look a little closer at self-publishing. The market right now, is just very, very lame.

AGAIN with the weird dreams....

Had the baby dream again.

When I get immersed in a creative project, I often dream that I'm pregnant. If I miscarry, it's a bad sign--clearly. It means I'm fucking up, somewhere. Last night, I dreamed I was about to give birth to a baby I conceived in January. As per usual, I couldn't remember who the father was. My labor wasn't progressing. In fact, I wasn't even showing. I spent the hours waiting to deliver the baby by telling different dudes that each were indeed, the father. That seemed to excite them. They weren't guys I know in waking life.

H was there and told me I would need to do more stretches in order to give the baby room to make its way into the world. Basically, there needed to be more room inside of me.

My friend Jen says I have no subconscious. She's right. Clearly, I haven't been making enough room for whatever conceived project I have to come to fruition. Now the question is...what did I "conceive" in January that should be making its worldly appearance, now? I'm still thinking on that. The only other way to connect the January thing is it was the last time (gulp) I got laid.

I'm making an effort to not do so much. Saying no to things is difficult--one of our Group members has a terrible time with that. As a Priestess, I notice that my members' issues tend to emulate those of my own. Is it because they're my issues that I notice them? Do they pick up issues from me? Are they sent to the Group in order for us to see our issues in one another? Dunno.

Anyway.

I read Tarot for a very sweet client whom I had not seen in awhile. I think she was happy, even though due to bus and class schedules, I could not give her her full half an hour. I like reading for nice people, even on cold nights when I have to take the bus.