Shit MY Dad says...

Dad: So, whadya do this weekend? Did you stay in town?

Me: I went to Cornwall! I taught a Tarot class.

Dad: Oh! So, hanging out with those anarchistic--vegan--Wiccan--people out in the woods sacrificing animals and Republicans and stuff?

Me: No. And no, we don't sacrifice animals or people.

Dad: You don't? You don't sacrifice anything?

Me: Sometimes we sacrifice vegetables.

Dad: I think you Wiccans should sacrifice Sarah Palin. And just eat the vegetables.

The Five Agreements by Courtney A. Weber

A guide to a fulfilling existence:

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Don't Take Anything Personally.

Don't Make Assumptions.

Always Do Your Best.

Never eat anything with a main ingredient called "defatted peanut flour."

How it would sound if I were a Christian.....

Would the following sound kind of...dumb?

"OOh! A cross. You know what that means, don't you? Crosses are some freaky shit!!!"

"Hey, Courtney! Haven't seen you in awhile. How's all that...what do you call it...Christian-Churchy stuff going?"

"Oh, meant to tell you. Found out my co-worker is a Christian! I suggested you be friends on Facebook."

(Upon meeting my boyfriend.) "Oh, wow! You're wearing a cross, too. Were you into that before you met Courtney, or did she suck you in?"

"So, it's Easter, right? That's kind of an important holiday, right? Are you going to nail someone to a cross? Isn't that what you guys do on your Holy holiday?"

"Hello, everyone. I'd like you to meet my friend Courtney. She's a CHRISTIAN!!! No, like a REAL one."

"I just want you to know that I don't care that you're a Christian. Even though I'm not supposed to be friends with Christians, I don't think you're a bad one."

"Are you a Good Christian? Or a Bad Christian?"

"You're not going to launch a Crusade on me, are you?"

"I just want you to know that I don't agree with anything you do and that I think you and your 'people' do dangerous, scary things. But I'm up for a new job this week, so if you wouldn't mind praying for me, that would be great."

xoxo

Goddess, Speak

(Nabbed from my friend Sylvie...)

A girl whispered "Goddess, speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang but the girl did not hear.
So the girl yelled "Goddess speak to me!"
And the thunder rolled across the sky.
But the girl did not listen. ... See More
The girl looked around and said "Goddess let me see you"
And a star shone brightly.
But the girl did not notice.
And the girl shouted "Goddess show me a miracle"
And a life was born.
But the girl did not know.
So, the girl cried out in despair.
"Touch me Goddess and let me know that you are here!"
Where upon Goddess reached down and touched the girl.
But the girl brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

(Stupid girl.)

Tweet Tweet

I think I'm going to start a Twitter account and talk about Tarot.

If I do, will you read it?

The Wedding.

Last night, I went to the wedding but fortunately, did not have to go alone! ABL and NVD came with me, but they got there after I did. The first people I ran into were a cluster of my Tarot clients! I only recognized one, and then felt really dumb when the other two introduced themselves to me. They'd been in my house for readings and everything. I couldn't remember their names. I couldn't remember what I told them, either (I never do), but I did remember what they came to see me about. They gave me updates and also said, "You were SOOOO right." It made me feel good.

Also, as it turned out, the bride's bachelorette party was filled with clients of mine.

"All everyone said was, 'ohmigod...she was sooooooo accurate'!" one of my clients said.

"I should have jumped out of a cake," I replied.

Reading Tarot is fraught with insecurity. Was I wrong? Was I mean? Did I fuck up someone's life who should have never listened to me? Do I owe refunds to everyone who has ever hired me?

It's nice to get good feedback once in awhile.

Now, I want a Jewish wedding when/if I ever get married. The canopy was so pretty.

Live readings onstage

Last night, I read Tarot ***LIVE*** onstage. I've done Tarot readings in front of an audience before, but it's normally in a class. It was scary to do a reading at an open mic, where there are lots of rancid skeptics in the audience.

I got to read for Chemda, a woman I know from the Artstar scene, who is "The Girl" of Keith and the Girl, one of my favorite podcasts.

I think I did okay! She said I did okay, anyway. But maybe she was just being nice to me.

Honestly, what's more important than doing a public reading is doing something that scares you. Try it. Every day. Okay, I don't do it every day, but I do it when I've got the chance.

Tonight, I have to go to a wedding and probably have to go alone because Jorge double-booked himself. That's okay. I've never been to a wedding alone before. That's kind of scary.