Wednesday, September 30, 2009

AGAIN with the weird dreams....

Had the baby dream again.

When I get immersed in a creative project, I often dream that I'm pregnant. If I miscarry, it's a bad sign--clearly. It means I'm fucking up, somewhere. Last night, I dreamed I was about to give birth to a baby I conceived in January. As per usual, I couldn't remember who the father was. My labor wasn't progressing. In fact, I wasn't even showing. I spent the hours waiting to deliver the baby by telling different dudes that each were indeed, the father. That seemed to excite them. They weren't guys I know in waking life.

H was there and told me I would need to do more stretches in order to give the baby room to make its way into the world. Basically, there needed to be more room inside of me.

My friend Jen says I have no subconscious. She's right. Clearly, I haven't been making enough room for whatever conceived project I have to come to fruition. Now the question is...what did I "conceive" in January that should be making its worldly appearance, now? I'm still thinking on that. The only other way to connect the January thing is it was the last time (gulp) I got laid.

I'm making an effort to not do so much. Saying no to things is difficult--one of our Group members has a terrible time with that. As a Priestess, I notice that my members' issues tend to emulate those of my own. Is it because they're my issues that I notice them? Do they pick up issues from me? Are they sent to the Group in order for us to see our issues in one another? Dunno.

Anyway.

I read Tarot for a very sweet client whom I had not seen in awhile. I think she was happy, even though due to bus and class schedules, I could not give her her full half an hour. I like reading for nice people, even on cold nights when I have to take the bus.

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