Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
A Tarot Reader Opens a Chase Business Banking Account
(HA!)
"Hi! I'm V. So, you want to open a business account with Chase? You're a sole-proprietor. Okay. What is your business called? Tarot of the....what? Tarot? You mean like Tarot cards? You're MAKING Tarot cards? Wow. That's uh....wow. Well, first time I've had that today! Ha! Since you're not incorporating, we will not need DBA forms. I will need your social security number, Ms. Weber. Just curious, do you READ Tarot cards? Really? How long have you been reading? 13 years??? Wow. That's uh...wow. Now, will you be requiring a Chase credit card? What about a debit card? What do you expect your average balance to be per month? How did you learn to read Tarot cards? Doesn't that require a gift? I mean, some people are SEERERS, you know? Like, they can see things? Read things? Don't you need to be able to do that in order to read Tarot? If you link your Chase credit card with your business banking, there will be no minimum fee. Without, you will need to pay a monthly fee of $25. There is a .25 interest rate for business savings accounts. Girl....I cannot BELIEVE you dropped in here at the end of the year...the things I could ask you right now.....mmmmmhmmm. I will need you to sign here and here and here and here. Wait, I'm going to need to call my manager. EDNA! Can I see you for a minute? This is Courtney, she's opening a business account. She reads Tarot. I know, right? Edna and I are allllll over this kinda stuff. We're going to have to have you come back and give us more information....*wink* if you know what I mean. I'm going to need to see two pieces of ID. So, a New York Tarot deck, huh? Will it work like a real Tarot deck? Like one you READ-read? Oh, and one more thing for you to sign. When you come back next week, we'll have the business books ready for you. You're going to make a lot of money on this thing. I can feel it. Thank you for doing business with Chase.
"Hi! I'm V. So, you want to open a business account with Chase? You're a sole-proprietor. Okay. What is your business called? Tarot of the....what? Tarot? You mean like Tarot cards? You're MAKING Tarot cards? Wow. That's uh....wow. Well, first time I've had that today! Ha! Since you're not incorporating, we will not need DBA forms. I will need your social security number, Ms. Weber. Just curious, do you READ Tarot cards? Really? How long have you been reading? 13 years??? Wow. That's uh...wow. Now, will you be requiring a Chase credit card? What about a debit card? What do you expect your average balance to be per month? How did you learn to read Tarot cards? Doesn't that require a gift? I mean, some people are SEERERS, you know? Like, they can see things? Read things? Don't you need to be able to do that in order to read Tarot? If you link your Chase credit card with your business banking, there will be no minimum fee. Without, you will need to pay a monthly fee of $25. There is a .25 interest rate for business savings accounts. Girl....I cannot BELIEVE you dropped in here at the end of the year...the things I could ask you right now.....mmmmmhmmm. I will need you to sign here and here and here and here. Wait, I'm going to need to call my manager. EDNA! Can I see you for a minute? This is Courtney, she's opening a business account. She reads Tarot. I know, right? Edna and I are allllll over this kinda stuff. We're going to have to have you come back and give us more information....*wink* if you know what I mean. I'm going to need to see two pieces of ID. So, a New York Tarot deck, huh? Will it work like a real Tarot deck? Like one you READ-read? Oh, and one more thing for you to sign. When you come back next week, we'll have the business books ready for you. You're going to make a lot of money on this thing. I can feel it. Thank you for doing business with Chase.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Cool! Video!!!
My friend Imakhu, creator of television show "ASHE!" has this new episode out! I got a piece on there teaching Tarot at Pagan Pride Day, and also a bit of me running my mouth for awhile. (Damn, my lipstick was bright that day...)
She also interviews Kirk White, Rev. Eli Camarena and Laura Wildman among others--the real reason to watch this video. :)
She also interviews Kirk White, Rev. Eli Camarena and Laura Wildman among others--the real reason to watch this video. :)
Monday, December 21, 2009
Yule Musings
I spent Saturday night reading Tarot at a party at the Russian Baths near Coney Island. It was a long subway ride through a furious blizzard, but there are far worse ways to make 90 bucks on a Saturday night. After a few hours of reading, I soaked in a hot tub, watching gorgeous bikini-clad peops rock out to live Balkan sounds, feeling all the more cozy knowing outside was the North Pole. After sufficient time in the hot tub, I retired to the sauna. There, I met a Russian guy named Paul. Paul asked if I'd like a Russian purification. I didn't know what that meant, but who was I to refuse an offer from a lovely Russkie dude two days before the Solstice?
You know what Paul did? He took me into the Cedar Steam room and proceeded to flog me with Oak Leaves...
It really was kind of too perfect.
After burning your toxins out in this gorgeous method, the person performing it on you puts you under a cold shower and even if you scream and try to run away (like I did), he'll make you stay in the freezing water because "You need it." Then, he wrapped me head to toes in white towels and ordered me to relax. (Only Russians make you fear the consequences of NOT relaxing enough.)
While I sat, wrapped in towels and listening to the brassy Balkan music, I thought to myself, "The Oak King rocks."
It took me awhile to get home. The subways are slow now anyway because of budget cuts. Late at night they're even slower. Add in the blizzard and I might as well have walked to Inwood. (Not really.) But there is a purpose for everything and this purpose was yet another gift of my pre-Yule evening.
When I got off the subway, it was nearly four in the morning. Normally, a sketchy time to be riding the trains alone, but not that night. New York City was completely silent. Not a car moved, not a person stumbled, staggered or cursed. The only sounds were the crunch of my boots in the snow. It was a pristine, blue-white covering turning cars into hills and dressing the apartment buildings like a storybook village street. I forgot about the cold, the fatigue, the fear of being out late and alone. I tramped through the snow, welcoming the presence of the Winter Queen. I wondered sadly, if my grandchildren would get to enjoy such a sight. Not knowing if they ever would, I took my time and took in the White Beauty. And this is how I welcomed Yule.
You know what Paul did? He took me into the Cedar Steam room and proceeded to flog me with Oak Leaves...
It really was kind of too perfect.
After burning your toxins out in this gorgeous method, the person performing it on you puts you under a cold shower and even if you scream and try to run away (like I did), he'll make you stay in the freezing water because "You need it." Then, he wrapped me head to toes in white towels and ordered me to relax. (Only Russians make you fear the consequences of NOT relaxing enough.)
While I sat, wrapped in towels and listening to the brassy Balkan music, I thought to myself, "The Oak King rocks."
It took me awhile to get home. The subways are slow now anyway because of budget cuts. Late at night they're even slower. Add in the blizzard and I might as well have walked to Inwood. (Not really.) But there is a purpose for everything and this purpose was yet another gift of my pre-Yule evening.
When I got off the subway, it was nearly four in the morning. Normally, a sketchy time to be riding the trains alone, but not that night. New York City was completely silent. Not a car moved, not a person stumbled, staggered or cursed. The only sounds were the crunch of my boots in the snow. It was a pristine, blue-white covering turning cars into hills and dressing the apartment buildings like a storybook village street. I forgot about the cold, the fatigue, the fear of being out late and alone. I tramped through the snow, welcoming the presence of the Winter Queen. I wondered sadly, if my grandchildren would get to enjoy such a sight. Not knowing if they ever would, I took my time and took in the White Beauty. And this is how I welcomed Yule.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
"You, Priestess, cannot be all things to all people"
A few weeks ago I went to Delaware to see my friends and to attend a workshop. At the Trance Prophecy Ritual that evening, a seasoned Priest brought through Odin. I've attended numerous Trance Prophecy Rituals and met a lot of different Gods, but this was the first time I approached a God and was crouched on the floor trembling like Dorothy before Oz. Except, there was no old dude behind the curtain. The old dude was the Old Dude right before my eyes and He had a mess of things to say to me. First of all, "You, Priestess, cannot be all things to all people."
(Funny. My therapist echoed the same sentiment this morning when I was ranting about some twig.)
So funny. Even though I know it's true, it doesn't stop me from trying to be perfect. All. The. Time.
Saturday, I lead the first open ritual at the new Pagan Center of New York. We had a spectacular time! The corners were called, the intention was set. The Holly and Oak Kings were chosen and duked it out. When the Oak King was the (surprise surprise) victor....He declared, "Gods bless Witches everywhere!" and we all went wild and the previously orderly ritual burst into an ecstatic Pagan dance party. It went on for hours. I received a lot of positive feedback. People had a great time and truly seemed to get something out of it. It was a blessed event and I hope we have more of them.
Sunday, I overdid it, I think. I read Tarot for four clients--one of whom purchased a full hour. The first three really liked their readings, even though they weren't all glowing news. The third even gave me a large tip. But the fourth person left me sad and dejected.
She said she was unhappy. I saw in her reading that she works too damn much. She said it was true. I pulled out a few things she could expect to experience in the coming weeks and months and a few other things she could do about her depression.
"Tell me about my personal life," she said. "Tell me what's going to happen."
I flipped some more cards and saw the same thing. Depression. Stagnation. Her job sucks. Find a new one or continue to be unhappy.
She looked cross. "Are all your readings like this?"
"Like what?" I asked.
She waved her hands over the cards. "Like this. You're repeating yourself. This isn't what I want to know. I want to know what things will happen."
"I'm afraid this is the message I have for you," I said.
"This isn't what I wanted," she said. "I want to know things. Not what I already know." She offered to pay me for fifteen minutes, but I waived it all together.
I saged the house after she left. I felt very sad. I had told her what would happen, so I thought. No, it wasn't the 7th Avenue psychic reading: "You will meet a tall man with a flowing mane...." although I do give those periodically. But that wasn't the message for her. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I took on too much psychically in one weekend. I should have thought about that before making that poor woman traipse way uptown to my house and then not give her a good reading. Then again, it wasn't that my reading was inaccurate. It just didn't cover what she wanted to hear. (Sigh.)
The woman came to my house looking for something that I was unable to provide. That's all. But even in the afterglow of having helped a lot of people, the last one I came into contact with left unsatisfied. That, unfortunately, is the one that sticks with me, even though I try to focus on all of the others.
I will reflect on the advice of Odin (and my therapist). I did what I could for the people I met over the weekend. One walked away dejected, but there is only so much responsibility I can take for it. As I told one young man at the PCNY Yule who asked about becoming a telephone psychic, when one is a minister, they must treat the practice like a pharmacist treats their own practice. The pharmacist can only put the correct pills and instructions on the counter for the patient. It's up to the patient to not only take them, but take them correctly. They can't shove the pills in their mouths nor follow them home to ensure they take them correctly. But as a minister, it's really hard to let that go.
Now, to add to the list of shit I've been called in the last week: Tyrannical, judgmental, oppressive, hypocritical. This was from someone outside my Coven, I may add. I wish this person had been a fly on the wall when I was scolded by a mentor a day later for being "too polite, democratic to a fault, too open, and needing to grab a tighter hold on the reigns."
See? Can't please them all.
Tune in next week for, "Still haven't learned that one...."
(Funny. My therapist echoed the same sentiment this morning when I was ranting about some twig.)
So funny. Even though I know it's true, it doesn't stop me from trying to be perfect. All. The. Time.
Saturday, I lead the first open ritual at the new Pagan Center of New York. We had a spectacular time! The corners were called, the intention was set. The Holly and Oak Kings were chosen and duked it out. When the Oak King was the (surprise surprise) victor....He declared, "Gods bless Witches everywhere!" and we all went wild and the previously orderly ritual burst into an ecstatic Pagan dance party. It went on for hours. I received a lot of positive feedback. People had a great time and truly seemed to get something out of it. It was a blessed event and I hope we have more of them.
Sunday, I overdid it, I think. I read Tarot for four clients--one of whom purchased a full hour. The first three really liked their readings, even though they weren't all glowing news. The third even gave me a large tip. But the fourth person left me sad and dejected.
She said she was unhappy. I saw in her reading that she works too damn much. She said it was true. I pulled out a few things she could expect to experience in the coming weeks and months and a few other things she could do about her depression.
"Tell me about my personal life," she said. "Tell me what's going to happen."
I flipped some more cards and saw the same thing. Depression. Stagnation. Her job sucks. Find a new one or continue to be unhappy.
She looked cross. "Are all your readings like this?"
"Like what?" I asked.
She waved her hands over the cards. "Like this. You're repeating yourself. This isn't what I want to know. I want to know what things will happen."
"I'm afraid this is the message I have for you," I said.
"This isn't what I wanted," she said. "I want to know things. Not what I already know." She offered to pay me for fifteen minutes, but I waived it all together.
I saged the house after she left. I felt very sad. I had told her what would happen, so I thought. No, it wasn't the 7th Avenue psychic reading: "You will meet a tall man with a flowing mane...." although I do give those periodically. But that wasn't the message for her. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I took on too much psychically in one weekend. I should have thought about that before making that poor woman traipse way uptown to my house and then not give her a good reading. Then again, it wasn't that my reading was inaccurate. It just didn't cover what she wanted to hear. (Sigh.)
The woman came to my house looking for something that I was unable to provide. That's all. But even in the afterglow of having helped a lot of people, the last one I came into contact with left unsatisfied. That, unfortunately, is the one that sticks with me, even though I try to focus on all of the others.
I will reflect on the advice of Odin (and my therapist). I did what I could for the people I met over the weekend. One walked away dejected, but there is only so much responsibility I can take for it. As I told one young man at the PCNY Yule who asked about becoming a telephone psychic, when one is a minister, they must treat the practice like a pharmacist treats their own practice. The pharmacist can only put the correct pills and instructions on the counter for the patient. It's up to the patient to not only take them, but take them correctly. They can't shove the pills in their mouths nor follow them home to ensure they take them correctly. But as a minister, it's really hard to let that go.
Now, to add to the list of shit I've been called in the last week: Tyrannical, judgmental, oppressive, hypocritical. This was from someone outside my Coven, I may add. I wish this person had been a fly on the wall when I was scolded by a mentor a day later for being "too polite, democratic to a fault, too open, and needing to grab a tighter hold on the reigns."
See? Can't please them all.
Tune in next week for, "Still haven't learned that one...."
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Bleck! Sorry I'm MIA.....
Writing new workshops and working on stuff for various Yule celebrations. I look forward to catching you all up on my manic thoughts...for those of you nice enough to pay attention to them!!!
Did want to direct you to the Pagan Center of New York's website
I'm teaching Tarot for Lovers at PCNY this Saturday from 2:00-4:00! $20 for everything you ever wanted to know about Love Readings. There will be a Yule ritual that evening. Shall be a good time!!!
Did want to direct you to the Pagan Center of New York's website
I'm teaching Tarot for Lovers at PCNY this Saturday from 2:00-4:00! $20 for everything you ever wanted to know about Love Readings. There will be a Yule ritual that evening. Shall be a good time!!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
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