Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Tarot Reader Opens a Chase Business Banking Account


"Hi! I'm V. So, you want to open a business account with Chase? You're a sole-proprietor. Okay. What is your business called? Tarot of the....what? Tarot? You mean like Tarot cards? You're MAKING Tarot cards? Wow. That's Well, first time I've had that today! Ha! Since you're not incorporating, we will not need DBA forms. I will need your social security number, Ms. Weber. Just curious, do you READ Tarot cards? Really? How long have you been reading? 13 years??? Wow. That's Now, will you be requiring a Chase credit card? What about a debit card? What do you expect your average balance to be per month? How did you learn to read Tarot cards? Doesn't that require a gift? I mean, some people are SEERERS, you know? Like, they can see things? Read things? Don't you need to be able to do that in order to read Tarot? If you link your Chase credit card with your business banking, there will be no minimum fee. Without, you will need to pay a monthly fee of $25. There is a .25 interest rate for business savings accounts. Girl....I cannot BELIEVE you dropped in here at the end of the year...the things I could ask you right now.....mmmmmhmmm. I will need you to sign here and here and here and here. Wait, I'm going to need to call my manager. EDNA! Can I see you for a minute? This is Courtney, she's opening a business account. She reads Tarot. I know, right? Edna and I are allllll over this kinda stuff. We're going to have to have you come back and give us more information....*wink* if you know what I mean. I'm going to need to see two pieces of ID. So, a New York Tarot deck, huh? Will it work like a real Tarot deck? Like one you READ-read? Oh, and one more thing for you to sign. When you come back next week, we'll have the business books ready for you. You're going to make a lot of money on this thing. I can feel it. Thank you for doing business with Chase.

No comments: