Monday, August 24, 2009

It's been awhile.

But I just saw Julie/Julia and it put me in a blogging mood.

It's been a busy year. Since Yule I have:

a.) Been reunited with the love of my life, thusfar.
b.) Attended seminary school.
c.) Watched the size of our Group nearly double.
d.) Taught at two different Pagan festivals.
e.) Received my third degree.
f.) Got my heart good and broken. But Brid said it wasn't going to happen again.

My goddaughters turned a year old. Their Wiccaning is planned for Labor Day weekend. I'm facing the tenuous repercussions of dealing with the break up of a couple within our Group--both of whom are members. I'm taking a long hard look at my own relationship with alcohol and finding it hasn't been a healthy one. My HP and I are extremely close to finishing our Tarot deck which will be awesome!!!

A good friend of mine laughed when she said, "Did no one tell you that getting the Third means your life is going to turn upside down?" I guess I should have known, but I didn't. Nothing has been the same, since--and that's an empty phrase to read, but the only appropriate description when you're feeling it.

Where do the Priestesses go for Priestessing when their own lives fall to shit? Eager faces of the Group members watch me, whether they mean to or not, to see how I deal with the pain of losing someone I loved, facing battles with substance and slowly fit back into a life that was moulded to suit the person I once was--but am not, now. They learn from my example, even though the vast majority are older than I. If I've done my job right as a Priestess, when they go through similar experiences, they're going to reflect on how they saw me react. So, I better not fuck it up.

One of my members politely complained recently that I am "rather gruff and vulgar, and not truly honoring the Goddess within me." To that I replied, "One of my Goddess's incarnations likes to rub chili peppers on Her genitals. You're lucky I don't emulate THAT." Actually, I'm lucky I don't imitate that.

I may not have many things to elaborate upon until the deck is finished. It's taking top priority for me right now. But the good news is that it's close to being finished. And that keeps me happy.

I should also re-evaluate my relationship with chocolate. But I've already kicked booze, cigs and caffeine--gotta draw the taboo line somewhere and preferably not over Hershey's Dark.

Blessed be, guys. I'm going to bed. After I pack for tomorrow's Tarot function.

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